Thursday, July 17, 2003
The people who are starting University this autumn across the nation were born in 1982/3.
They have no meaningful recollection of the Thatcher era.
They were prepubescent when Gulf War 1started.
Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
Their world has always included AIDS.
Atari's and Space Invaders predate them, as do vinyl albums and audio tapes.
The Compact Disc was released before they were one.
EVEN WORSE...
A "Snickers" has always been a "Snickers"
As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 26 pence.
Few, if any, have lived without an answering machine.
Few have used a TV set without a remote control and they don't know they come in black and white.
They were born the year that Sony brought out the Walkman.
The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
YOU'RE PROBABLY AGED 23-33 IF...
You wore a Nike blue and grey cagoule thingy.
You know what a cagoule is.
You dressed to emulate a person you saw in a Duran Duran, AHA, Madonna or Bros video.
There was nothing strange about Bert n' Ernie living together.
You recall Michael Knight's rival - 'Street Hawk'.
You knew who shot J.R. (but have probably forgotten!).
You remember which policeman you liked best in "Chips".
Mark from Eastenders will always be Tucker from GrangeHil / Tucker's Luck.
You remember when Terry Wogan was on TV everyday.
You could sing "99 Red Balloons" in English and in German.
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those brick-sized"packages of Bazooka gum.
You reckon Wagon wheels and Mars Bars used to be bigger.
You remember a 'Man's got to chew, what a Man's got to chew'.
You remember when there was no breakfast TV and when TV shut down at midnight...
And when there was nothing on TV in the middle of the day except for that test card girl with the stupid clown and a blackboard.
YOU WERE A TRUE CHILD OF THE 80S IF...
You remember Now compilations that had the pig on the front cover.
You never questioned why the A-Team was always imprisoned in places that had sufficient tools to build an armoured tank.
'Battle of the Planets' was your favourite cartoon.
Your lunch times were spent perfecting swan dives and backspins.
You've ever said "bright light, bright light" in a strange high-pitched voice.
You know the theme tune and the names of all the actors and characters in Dallas & Dynasty.
You even wished your hair/clothes/lifestyle resembled the above (or they actually did!).
You fell out with friends during heated arguments about the relative merits of Matt & Luke.
You owned, or wanted a "Frankie says..." T-shirt.
You have even danced (or even worse cried) to Kylie & Jason.
Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have ever featured in your wardrobe or make-up collection.
You even did the top toggle of your coat up around your neck without having your arms in the sleeves, and knew you looked like a super-hero.
You remember when the AHA video was the pinnacle of modern technology, and you can still sing all the words.
Parachuting Action man was your favourite toy.
(Girls) Your best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt.
(Boys) You even owned a thin, black leather tie (and were proud of it), or worse it was patterned like a piano!
You wondered why a popular kids TV programme told you to "Turn off your TV set and go and do something less boring instead".
You wanted to be either Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.
You have even po-goed or space-hopped.
You remember when Keith Chegwin & Maggie Philbin were the hottest romantic couple...
And when Keith was associated with Cheggers Plays Pop rather than Cheggers drinks alcopops.
You wondered why your walkie-talkie didn't have the same range as those in the Red Hand Gang.
You were shocked by the controversial plot lines in Degrassi Junior High.
You remember watching a house inhabited by a jester, a pantomime horse, and a woman who sneezed, and thinking that this was perfectly normal.
You know who Joey Deacon was.
You tried to convince your Dad to fit a strip of red lights on the front of his Capri so it looked like KITT.
"Ca-vey Wa-vey!" means anything to you.
Remmington makes you think of something other than shaving equipment.
You wouldn't say no to a milkshake
You've even had more than 10 sweets in a 10p mix-up.
Not only did you wear luminous clothing, but they were mismatched finger-less gloves and towelling socks.
When Yoda said 'There is another Skywalker' you wished he was talking about you.
Wearing your hair like buns on the sides of your head seemed like a good fashion statement.
You remember when Betamax was at the cutting edge of technology
You hid behind the sofa whenever you heard the word Exterminate.
Vimto or Dandelion & Burdock even featured in your diet.
You were really pleased when Pacman got a girlfriend.
After ET, you wanted a Speak & Spell even though you were top of your class
You remember when PC had one meaning, rather than three.
(Girls) You owned a pair of Pixie Boots, generally worn with leg warmers!
(Boys) You owned a pair of pale grey slip-ons, generally worn with white toweling socks, a cardigan with a Y on it, waffle trousers, or shiny grey flecked suits.
You grew up in Trumpton, Chigley or Camberwick Green.
You've rolled the sleeves of your suit jacket up
Ooh, you could crush a Grape!
You've even held a chicken in the air, or stuck a deckchair up your nose.
You went to school with Pogo Patterson, Gripper Stebson, and Ro-land.
Long scarves, K9, and a time-travelling police box ring any bells.
Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy have ever featured on your Saturday afternoon
You wore legwarmers, tried to do the splits while jumping in the air, while singing you were going to live forever.
Fingermouse
You were proud of your picture appearing in the Gallery, just before watching a lump of plasticine who couldn't speak English.
You fantasised about those girls from that Robert Palmer video.
You know all the words to Hey Mickey (well nobody knows past the first verse anyway).
You remember Look In magazine, and when it was only 20p
You can remember what Quatro tasted like.
Your best mate had a soda stream at home and you were jealous.
The Yuppie next door caught you nicking the VW badge off his Golf GTI
You remember mobile phones that had briefcase size battery packs attatched
You remember ZX Spectrums being the most powerful games console ...
They have no meaningful recollection of the Thatcher era.
They were prepubescent when Gulf War 1started.
Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
Their world has always included AIDS.
Atari's and Space Invaders predate them, as do vinyl albums and audio tapes.
The Compact Disc was released before they were one.
EVEN WORSE...
A "Snickers" has always been a "Snickers"
As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 26 pence.
Few, if any, have lived without an answering machine.
Few have used a TV set without a remote control and they don't know they come in black and white.
They were born the year that Sony brought out the Walkman.
The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
YOU'RE PROBABLY AGED 23-33 IF...
You wore a Nike blue and grey cagoule thingy.
You know what a cagoule is.
You dressed to emulate a person you saw in a Duran Duran, AHA, Madonna or Bros video.
There was nothing strange about Bert n' Ernie living together.
You recall Michael Knight's rival - 'Street Hawk'.
You knew who shot J.R. (but have probably forgotten!).
You remember which policeman you liked best in "Chips".
Mark from Eastenders will always be Tucker from GrangeHil / Tucker's Luck.
You remember when Terry Wogan was on TV everyday.
You could sing "99 Red Balloons" in English and in German.
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those brick-sized"packages of Bazooka gum.
You reckon Wagon wheels and Mars Bars used to be bigger.
You remember a 'Man's got to chew, what a Man's got to chew'.
You remember when there was no breakfast TV and when TV shut down at midnight...
And when there was nothing on TV in the middle of the day except for that test card girl with the stupid clown and a blackboard.
YOU WERE A TRUE CHILD OF THE 80S IF...
You remember Now compilations that had the pig on the front cover.
You never questioned why the A-Team was always imprisoned in places that had sufficient tools to build an armoured tank.
'Battle of the Planets' was your favourite cartoon.
Your lunch times were spent perfecting swan dives and backspins.
You've ever said "bright light, bright light" in a strange high-pitched voice.
You know the theme tune and the names of all the actors and characters in Dallas & Dynasty.
You even wished your hair/clothes/lifestyle resembled the above (or they actually did!).
You fell out with friends during heated arguments about the relative merits of Matt & Luke.
You owned, or wanted a "Frankie says..." T-shirt.
You have even danced (or even worse cried) to Kylie & Jason.
Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have ever featured in your wardrobe or make-up collection.
You even did the top toggle of your coat up around your neck without having your arms in the sleeves, and knew you looked like a super-hero.
You remember when the AHA video was the pinnacle of modern technology, and you can still sing all the words.
Parachuting Action man was your favourite toy.
(Girls) Your best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt.
(Boys) You even owned a thin, black leather tie (and were proud of it), or worse it was patterned like a piano!
You wondered why a popular kids TV programme told you to "Turn off your TV set and go and do something less boring instead".
You wanted to be either Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.
You have even po-goed or space-hopped.
You remember when Keith Chegwin & Maggie Philbin were the hottest romantic couple...
And when Keith was associated with Cheggers Plays Pop rather than Cheggers drinks alcopops.
You wondered why your walkie-talkie didn't have the same range as those in the Red Hand Gang.
You were shocked by the controversial plot lines in Degrassi Junior High.
You remember watching a house inhabited by a jester, a pantomime horse, and a woman who sneezed, and thinking that this was perfectly normal.
You know who Joey Deacon was.
You tried to convince your Dad to fit a strip of red lights on the front of his Capri so it looked like KITT.
"Ca-vey Wa-vey!" means anything to you.
Remmington makes you think of something other than shaving equipment.
You wouldn't say no to a milkshake
You've even had more than 10 sweets in a 10p mix-up.
Not only did you wear luminous clothing, but they were mismatched finger-less gloves and towelling socks.
When Yoda said 'There is another Skywalker' you wished he was talking about you.
Wearing your hair like buns on the sides of your head seemed like a good fashion statement.
You remember when Betamax was at the cutting edge of technology
You hid behind the sofa whenever you heard the word Exterminate.
Vimto or Dandelion & Burdock even featured in your diet.
You were really pleased when Pacman got a girlfriend.
After ET, you wanted a Speak & Spell even though you were top of your class
You remember when PC had one meaning, rather than three.
(Girls) You owned a pair of Pixie Boots, generally worn with leg warmers!
(Boys) You owned a pair of pale grey slip-ons, generally worn with white toweling socks, a cardigan with a Y on it, waffle trousers, or shiny grey flecked suits.
You grew up in Trumpton, Chigley or Camberwick Green.
You've rolled the sleeves of your suit jacket up
Ooh, you could crush a Grape!
You've even held a chicken in the air, or stuck a deckchair up your nose.
You went to school with Pogo Patterson, Gripper Stebson, and Ro-land.
Long scarves, K9, and a time-travelling police box ring any bells.
Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy have ever featured on your Saturday afternoon
You wore legwarmers, tried to do the splits while jumping in the air, while singing you were going to live forever.
Fingermouse
You were proud of your picture appearing in the Gallery, just before watching a lump of plasticine who couldn't speak English.
You fantasised about those girls from that Robert Palmer video.
You know all the words to Hey Mickey (well nobody knows past the first verse anyway).
You remember Look In magazine, and when it was only 20p
You can remember what Quatro tasted like.
Your best mate had a soda stream at home and you were jealous.
The Yuppie next door caught you nicking the VW badge off his Golf GTI
You remember mobile phones that had briefcase size battery packs attatched
You remember ZX Spectrums being the most powerful games console ...
